Considering the Daily Mass

I spent most of 2013 with the Anglicans. During that time I realized that I wanted something more than worshiping on Sunday. It was a pleasure to attend the Holy Eucharist service on Wednesday evening. But I was unemployed at that time and could've attended services each day if they'd been offered. And would've attended.

That's not the reason I converted to Catholicism, of course. In fact it was barely a consideration. My Mass attendance has been almost exclusively for my Sunday obligation. But this week I attended daily Latin Mass on Monday, Tuesday, Friday and am about to go again today.

Part of my motivation is just that I have the time for it now. But the other, bigger issue is that the Catholic Church teaches there's nothing better you can do than attend Mass in a state of grace and receive the sacrament.

Caring for the poor, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, defending the defenseless, those things are all wonderful. But they pale in comparison to attending Mass, where the sacrifice transcends time and space to yesterday, today and tomorrow. It's the greatest possible thing anybody can ever do. How much truer must that be when you assist at Mass outside of your usual obligation?

I mean, I understood that much on an intellectual basis. But actually experiencing it puts it all into a different perspective.

For one thing, daily Mass at my parish is sparsely attended. There were enough people there that it didn't feel like it was just me and the priest. But it was nowhere near capacity. I didn't think to count noses but I'd be shocked if even thirty other people attended. To put that in perspective, I've never attended an obligation Mass anywhere that didn't have a large throng of people standing in the back because inevitably there weren't enough seats to go around. So that was a major difference right there.

That gives you a chance to concentrate on the liturgy, the prayers, the Latin, the sacrifice, all of it. I don't want this to sound as snooty as it probably will but when I slummed it with the Anglicans for that year, I became addicted to small numbers of people attending the service.

Understand, I got my fill of vast crowds of people in my evangelical days. I love the idea of huge numbers of people worshiping together... but I don't care to ever experience it firsthand ever again. Well, on weekends, you don't have much of a choice about that. But crowded pews are a virtual non-issue with daily Mass.

That also works on a ranty level for me because invariably people arrive late to Mass. And on weekends, there's a strange, unspoken expectation that I should scoot over and make room for them.

No.

I generally show up for Mass fifteen (or more) minutes early specifically so that I can choose a good seat. I like sitting on the outside when I can. And usually I can. So why should I give up the good seat I arrived early for so that I can give it to someone who arrived late? I don't mind if they sit next to me but they can move around me and sit on the inside of the pew. If they don't like it, they can get there early next time. But I'm not giving up my good spot.

This is another non-issue with daily Mass. There will only be one or two or (at most) three people on any given pew. Everybody has room to stretch out a little. If someone arrives late, it's irrelevant because there will still be plenty of empty pews to choose from.

Related to that stuff, and second, the intimacy of the Mass allows for silence. More people means more people moving. And more people moving means more noise. But thirty (at most) people in a vast space is very silent. You just can't beat the solemn reverence and stillness of the thing.

In a weird kind of way, it's just you and God. You're keenly aware of your sin, your imperfection, your unworthiness. But in the Mass, with the blessed sacrament, your soul is nourished and simultaneously you're giving God the highest possible worship that man is capable of offering. Yes, you're full of sin. But to whatever degree you can offer God true, perfect and holy worship, you're doing it in the Mass. And that's any Mass.

But the silence and the intimacy of daily Mass drives those things home clearer than you can possibly imagine.

Third, and finally, there's clarity of purpose. I've been known to bail on weekend Mass a few minutes early so that I don't have to fight it out in the parking lot with the inevitable gridlock.

That's another non-issue with daily Mass. The lack of traffic in the parking lot means you can stay after Mass for as long as you want. There's not another Mass starting anytime soon to push you out the door. You can bask in the glow of Our Lord's presence, pray in His presence and do your other devotions.

And when you're ready. Not before. Not after. When you're ready you can gather your things and wander casually out the door. There's no rush. There's no competition. You can enjoy the silence and the peace of having just offered God your absolute best worship and absorb the contentment of those things.

I made a few casual observations during the daily Masses I've attended so far. One of them is that it tends to be the same bunch of people who attend each day. Not to flatter myself but I suppose those who attend daily Mass are the "hardliners". Certainly the others in attendance have a very serious air about them.

I've said in previous entries that generally only about 10% of Christians are truly committed to the faith. Catholic or non-Catholic, only one in ten truly abides by the faith to the best of their ability.

That number might be less accurate at one of the FSSP parishes like the one I attend as it's a more specialized type of worship. I do, however, believe the 10% number is true in general.

Receiving the sacrament is a much faster process, obviously, with such a small number of people there. It's generally over after maybe five minutes. And obviously only the priest will administer it in the traditional Rite. When I go to Novus Ordo parishes, I always sit in the section where the sacrament will be administered by a priest but that's already taken care of at my FSSP parish. Nobody but a priest will ever administer it there, no matter how long it takes. And with daily Mass it just doesn't take very long.

Mind you, nothing's perfect in life. Daily Mass is invariably low Mass. I love high Mass the most but it's just not practical to do that for daily Mass. So there's no incense and there's no chanting.

But there's also no Sign of Peace either. I'm not exactly a people person so to me it's actually a relief to not have to mingle with strangers. This is likely a character flaw on my part. And perhaps it's something I should work on. But in the here and now, I like keeping my distance and my silence. Some people say that it's better to be thought anti-social than to keep your mouth shut and remove all doubt. But distance is my tendency.

All of this is an incredibly long way of encouraging attendance at daily Mass. Go when you can. I realize we all have to work for a living and so daily Mass may not fit in with everybody's schedule. Heck, it's probably not going to fit in with my schedule much longer.

But there's simply no matching the serenity and contentment of offering God your very best on a completely voluntary basis.

Now excuse me, I'm off to daily Mass.

An Evangelical Responds

One thing I've noticed over the course of my life is that I don't get to make any decision for free. What I mean by that is if I were to decide to double-knot my shoelaces, somebody would come along and demand an explanation as to why I dare have the temerity to not single-knot like everybody else does.

It extends to everything. My career choices, my romantic life, my hobbies, everything.

Coming from a Protestant background as I do, there's no reason to think religious issues should be any different.

I recently shared an article about Sola Scriptura on Facebook. I've made similar arguments myself, both on this blog and in other venues. Simply put, I find Sola Sciptura to be a logical dead end. If the Bible is one's sole source of religious authority... who put the Bible together and what gives them the authority to decide what is and is not canon?

Shouldn't the Sola Scriptura approach be to decide one's personal canon for oneself - or do Protestants already do that?

I wasn't necessarily expecting an outpouring of support, you understand. I just thought it was food for thought and left it at that. But that wasn't good enough for one Facebook friend.

I should pause here and say he and I aren't really "friends" at all. We have mutual friends from my old days at Southern Baptist Church #2 but we have no real relationship between one another.

The only reason he friended me on Facebook is because of the aforementioned mutual friends. He sent me a PM to ask why I never attend any SBC Church #2 functions or attend services there in spite of the fact that I remain a member of their Facebook group. I answered him as well as I could. "The answer I don't attend church there is because Catholic."

In reply I received a sort of invasive series of questions from this guy regarding my faith and Church membership. It wasn't exactly rude but it did seem a little nosy. Our brief correspondence wrapped up with an invitation back to SB Church #2 for some "ecumenical dialogue".

Now, I might've been born at night. But it wasn't last night. I'm next door to positive that if I were foolish enough to show my face at SB Church #2 again, quite apart from seeing a lot of faces from SB Church #1 (my original cause for leaving SB Church #2), I'd be immediately set upon by well-intentioned dunderheads demanding an explanation to some list of Questions to Ask Catholics someone Googled. I have no idea how this blog comes off but, trust me, I'm not apologist. This is a setup.

No thanks.

Besides, SB Church #2 only has services on Sunday morning. If my Sunday morning wasn't occupied by work, I'd attend Latin Mass at my FSSP parish. So no matter what, I'm not going back to SB Church #2. I love the people there but the Catholic faith is where I was always meant to be.

To get back on task though, this guy posted a series of comments to the Sola Scriptura article I shared. It ended up becoming a bit of a back and forth discussion between the two of us. Near the end (or is it merely a pause?) he shifted the subject from Sola Scriptura to Sola Fide.

In essence, he jumped from "the sole source of religious authority" to "the sole source of salvation". Which may be an interesting discussion to have some time. But that isn't the discussion at hand.

All of which is a very long way of saying this objector is the latest in a long line of opposition I've encountered. What makes this situation somewhat unique is that it comes from a complete stranger. Which I found to rather amusing in an aggravating sort of way.

Easter Vigil

So. Easter Vigil. I realize that what happened on Easter Vigil is arguably more pertinent for me to write about than was the sacrament of marriage. But that was a late addition to My Catholic Year, which, as much as anything, was supposed to be a time for absorbing as much of what the Church has to offer as possible. And so it felt wrong somehow to not mention that before getting into Easter Vigil.

As I've said before, I joined the Catholic Church by way of a Priestly Fraternity of St. Peter parish. So although I thought I knew what the process of being welcomed into the Church would be like, I was very mistaken.

First, there was the small matter of my baptism to get straightened out. I was baptized back when I was 16 by my grandfather. He was an elder at his local Church of Christ church. But there are some difficulties there. For starters, that was half a lifetime ago for me. I truly have no idea if he baptized in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. It stands to reason that he would have. But I couldn't swear to it.

Second, even if he had and even if I remembered it, I don't have a certificate of baptism. For one thing, that's not really a Church of Christ thing to do. But even if it was, it still wouldn't matter because I was baptized at a church but not by that church. My grandfather baptized me at the church I attended at the time. It was my church; not his. Someone from the church came down, unlocked the building for us and my grandfather baptized me. But it wasn't done by the church proper.

Third, that church technically no longer exists anymore. Or if it does, not in the form it was in back when I was 16. And certainly not at the same building.

The combination of all these things made me a very good candidate for a conditional baptism. If that's an unfamiliar term, a conditional baptism should be self-explanatory. But if it isn't, it's basically the priest offering words to the effect of "If you weren't baptized already, you are baptized now". It doesn't "rebaptize" you as such because that's impossible. You can only baptized once. But in cases where one's baptism is up for grabs, a conditional baptism is a good way to settle the matter once and for all.

However, since that potentially leaves half a lifetime of unconfessed sins on the table, there's really no way to do it during the proper Easter Vigil because the priest can't very well stop the Mass to hear confessions from people who may have already been licitly baptized before. So that part had to be done earlier in the day on Saturday.

And I must say that confessing my sins to Father was a pretty unusual experience. I expect it'll get easier in the future but it was hard to think of very many major sins I've committed. But some very important mortal sins I've committed came to mind and needed to get straightened out. It'd be stupid to mention them here but by any standard this is definitely stuff to mention in confession.

What I discovered though was simply talking about them and getting them off my chest helped a bunch. I'm really sorry for some of the things I've done in life. I did them with my eyes wide open, in spite of everything my own conscience, Sacred Scripture and probably even the Spirit could say to dissuade me. But I did them and then I confessed. Father absolved me and prescribed my penance.

Earlier today I took care of my penance. And you know what? Danged if I don't feel like a burden I was never even aware of has been lifted.

Now, don't misunderstand me. I've never been one of those fuzzy-wuzzy spiritual feeeeeeeeeeeelings types. It's just not my thing. Subjective experience is fine in its place but there is such a thing as an objective reality and experiential nonsense usually isn't what motivates me. But at the same time, I can't pretend something important didn't change, first, by confessing and, second, by doing my penance.

Once the baptismal rite and then confession had ended, it was off to get dinner just before Easter Vigil started.

Now, I come from a decidedly Protestant family. My friends are either Protestant or not religious. Because of that, I wasn't expecting much of anything in terms of recognition from anyone for joining the Church. So imagine my surprise when my girlfriend presented with me rosary beads, a Catholic Bible, 'Heretics' by GK Chesterton and a few other things!

After that, it was back to church for Easter Vigil. Now, I knew this was going to be a major lu-lu. I'd heard that this was the single longest Mass the Catholic Church has to offer. Apparently it's second to none in terms of length. And I found that to be quite true.

Even so, the sights, sounds, prayers and chanting, incense and everything else... I mean, THIS is how you worship God. So I didn't mind the length of the Mass.

This is probably a typical experience for a lot of people but I was not expecting total strangers to want to take pictures of and with me just because I was joining. But that's what happened. My fellow candidates and I were almost treated like celebrities or something with everybody, of whom not least was the parish's photographer, wanting to take pictures of us standing with our sponsors in front of the altar, standing with Father in front of the altar, standing otherwise alone as a group in front of the altar, standing as individuals in front of the altar, etc. It was nuts!

But then they just saw all of us get welcomed into the Church. As converts. Whatever our lives would've become before we joined the Church, that's all changed now. We have a new destiny. A better destiny. And they witnessed us take our first clumsy steps in that right direction. And as adults in such a traditionalist church, you can well figure that we're probably doing it for all the right reasons. And so perhaps that is what those people wanted to commemorate.

Either way, it was hard to not get a little emotional about the whole thing. I've been trying to join the Catholic Church ever since October 2013. My fellow candidates only started in July 2014. If, shall we say, "time served" is a factor, I don't think the experience meant as much to them as it did to me. This took a long time to finally get sorted out. It was worth the wait, to be sure, but joining the Church has been uppermost in my mind for a very long time now.

And now that I'm officially a member, I don't quite know what the next step is. But I'll figure something out.

Reconsidering Novus Ordo

As I near the end of my journey through RCIA and begin to ramp up toward Easter, I've tried harder to make it to Mass at least Sunday (or Saturday). Soon this will be a requirement for me. So I'm trying to make it more of a priority now.

In pursuit of that goal, I went to Mass at a Novus Ordo parish near my apartment. Up to now, I've somewhat looked down my nose at the Novus Order because I wasn't overly impressed with it at a different parish at which I attempted RCIA.

Not to question the validity of Novus Ordo, you understand, but I didn't think the language of it was as poetic as the Anglican Book of Common Prayer Rite I or as beautiful as the Latin Mass. And to a degree, that remains the case now.

However, the Low Masses I attended at the other Novus Ordo parish were blown out of the water by tonight's High Mass Novus Ordo. What I've come to understand is that I can overlook the mediocre English of Novus Ordo so long as the Mass itself is sufficiently High.

In the case of this past Sunday, the Celebrant chanted parts and the incense spread through the entire sanctuary. The only thing missing was a ringing bell, really.

Now, my inner evangelical (what's left of him) is cringing at all of this because it's supposed to be ALL ABOUT YOUR HEART. The specifics of worship don't (or at least shouldn't) make a difference.

Fact is though they do. It's only natural. We're sensory-based creatures. We see, smell, touch, taste and hear. It's how we as people engage the world. So to me it's appropriate then that Mass should encompass all those things. And the issue is that Low Mass doesn't. In my opinion, it just lacks the more solemn atmosphere of High Mass. It's not a matter of substance; it's completely style.

I guess the point is that I don't think that's a shallow difference anymore.

This is a break with how I used to think though in that when I was an evangelical, I generally held people who church-hopped over matters related to music styles or the like in almost open contempt. And in my defense, from Sola Scriptura and Sola Fide standpoints, those ARE vapid reasons for switching churches.

But in a more holistic faith like Catholicism, I think people should attend whatever style of Mass lines up best with their sensibilities.

I just don't have much use for Low Mass Novus Ordo, that's all.

My Catholic Year Update

Man, has it really been over two months since I've updated this thing? Why, yes it has.

Not to worry though, I've got a few things to talk about this time around. You know, rather than the usual "things are going along as normal".

First off, things with RCIA are going along as normal. Father and the rest of us in our tiny little group have been working our way through a book called This is the Faith. Apart from being very instructive as an introduction to Catholicism, it's also sort of a commentary on what evangelicals call "the peculiarities of Catholic faith"... which would probably seem less "peculiar" if they just read the stuff. But I guess that's not happening.

I expect we'll be going on hiatus for stuff related to Advent and Christmas. My guess is Father is going to become really busy really soon. In fact, the Friday, 12.12.2014 meeting may be our last for a while. But I have no idea.

To move on to other things, part of my mission for My Catholic Year has been to take in different Catholic liturgies. At best I've had mixed success with that. Sure, there's the regular Novus Ordo Mass. And I've gone on the record saying I'm not a big fan of it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those who question the validity of it. I mean, is that really my concern? But at the same time I'm not a huge fan of it either.

I've also written about the Latin Mass. And I LOVE the Latin Mass! It's hard to really get the Latin Mass until you actually attend one. And once you do, odds are you'll see what the fuss is all about.

But that was about it for quite a while there. There simply aren't very many licit liturgies available in my area besides those two... except for an Anglican Use parish near my work.

Now, I've tried to avoid getting too personal in this Blogspot because I don't want to get too personal in this Blogspot. But this time it's a little unavoidable. Basically my work schedule uses up my time from 7am to 4pm on Saturday and Sunday. I'm off every Thursday and Friday (which made time off for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year totally a piece of cake). But the down side is that it's an incredible pain in the neck to come home from work, change clothes (because I work in a very come as you are casual work place), turn right back around and go to Mass. Something about coming home from work usually requires me to stay home for a while.

Except that doesn't work so well with my weekend obligation, now does it?

But I realized that my work place is right by an Anglican Use parish! Why, I bet I could go there directly after work! And this past Saturday, that's exactly what I did. And man, talk about high church! Bells, smells and everything else I always loved about Anglicanism. It looked and sounded to me like they were working off Rite I. It was beautiful, majestic and moving.

The other thing though was that it showed me just how much I've come to miss Anglican liturgy. I spent all of 2013 in the Anglican church. And I'd be there still but I came to realize that separation from Canterbury bothers me less than separation from Rome. But, man, I really MISSED that beautiful Anglican liturgy and worship style.

Because of all that, it was really comforting to go to the Anglican Use parish, secure in my communion with Rome while still enjoying everything I'd come to love and adore about Anglicanism. Best of both worlds!

Sooner or later, my work schedule's going to change again and I'll have to figure out something else. Hopefully I'll have weekends off again and can resume attending the Latin Mass. But if I don't, it's comforting to know the Anglican Use parish is so near my work that I can go there on the way home.

I would like to find some other liturgies and Rites in my local area before the end of the year but that may be impossible, especially at this point.

To move on to more other things, another part of my mission for My Catholic Year has been to pray very Catholic prayers and be diligent about it. And this has been more successful than finding other rites. I started off simply enough. I printed a couple of Catholic prayers off Wikipedia and just prayed those.

Then I realized having a printout of them is kind of stupid so I created a PDF file of them and put it on the ol' iPad. And I've largely stuck with that for a while now.

But then I purchased an iPhone 6 a while back and realized I can probably find at least a few apps to use for my daily prayers. And boy oh boy did I find some really good ones! Some of them even have little commentaries and stuff about the prayer, how far back it dates to and other trivia.

Another app will walk you through the Liturgy of the Hours. Rather than having to carry a zillion books with you, you just pop the app open and it'll show you the appropriate prayer based on the date and time.

The other app will walk you through a Rosary, which I've never done by myself before because I don't really know how to do it by myself. So this app will come to my rescue!

Anyway, this stuff was only today though so I haven't had a chance to do much with any of the apps yet. But at the same time, it's nice to know that I've now got my choice of different prayers and don't necessarily have to stick to the same ones every day. That'll be a nice change of pace, mmmkay?

Looking back on it, I originally designed My Catholic Year to begin immersing myself in the Catholic Church's teachings, prayers and worship. The idea was that when I was welcomed into the Church, I'd have at least a starting point for my disciplines, I'd have some kind of perspective on the various Rites out there and I'd be pretty much ready to go.

Very bluntly, we can argue how well most of that stuff has turned out. As I say, the prayer stuff seems like it's under control but I haven't tried all that hard to soak in other Rites. Crap, I've been pretty lackadaisical about attending Mass like I should. So there's definitely room to improve here.

But then I remember that I haven't been officially welcomed into the Church yet. Technically I'm not expected to have all this stuff mastered by now. And even when I am a member of the Church, should I goof on any of this stuff, there are ways of fixing it. It's not the end of the world.

I guess my point in all this is that I've made some pretty dumb decisions in life. It's not hard to think up a few really good examples. But joining up with the Mother Church... this could be the best decision I've ever made.

What does that mean for the future of this Blogspot? Don't really know. Technically it was only supposed to last for 2014. I'd expected to be welcomed into the Church by now. But I think we all know how that turned out.

So I guess I'll keep updating (however sporadically) until I am welcomed into the Church. After that... well, who knows?

Considering Anglican Use

RCIA with the priest from the FSSP parish has been going along nicely. Still, he raised a few good points on Friday night that I've tried to ignore.

The fact is my Mass attendance sucks. There's no nice way to say it so there it is. I've been to the low Mass in Latin a few times but basically my attendance has really dropped off, especially in the past several weeks.

Now, to be fair I DO work on weekends. And that makes it kind of challenging to go to Mass and fulfill my obligation. Difficult. But not impossible. If I'd really wanted to go, I could've.

But there is no Mass in Latin at a realistic time and location to make going on Saturday or Sunday feasible. And obviously I'd rather not go to the Novus Ordo Mass.

Now, that's not to be taken as anti-Novus Ordo or anything. I'm just saying I prefer Mass in Latin, and, apparently, would rather not go if it's not in Latin.

A conundrum.

But then I had a realization a few days ago. As far as I could remember, my office HAS to be fairly close to this one Anglican Use parish I know about so I decided to check it out. And sure enough, it's ridiculously close to my office. So I could go there after work on Saturdays and fulfill my obligation. And it wouldn't even be all that hard to get there either.

Now, as I've said, I did indeed leave the Anglican church. And the reason for that is because it's not the church Our Lord founded. It's not that I don't like it. Quite the opposite! I love it. I believe that Anglican liturgy is one of the finest around. But you're either in communion with the Pope or you're not. And if you're not, why should I bother?

That's what makes the Anglican Use parish so cool. Best of both worlds! So my plan is to get an idea of their dress code. See, my office has one of the most lax dress codes you've ever heard of. The thing is that after a while, "casual" becomes the dress code. So if you show up to work dressed like you're about to go to church... well, that's not a good thing, now is it?

So what I'll probably have to do is bring a change of clothes with me to work so that I can fit in at both places. People have to make sacrifices greater than that to go to church all the time so I shouldn't complain.

I'm actually really excited about this. I've always believed the Anglicans have a lot to contribute to Catholicism. My only regret is that I can't attend an Anglican Use parish nearer to my home. But at least I've got the FSSP parish nearby.

It's hard not to feel really blessed right now.

Second Thoughts About the Church?

Back when I was attending RCIA, I was confronted approached by one of the other Inquirers about Anglicanism. When RCIA first began, we all gave a quick summary of our spiritual lives and what had drawn us to the Catholic Church. I mentioned making a pit stop in Anglicanism after leaving the evangelical world before deciding to make the full transition to the Mother Church.

I surmise my comments drew his attention because he approached me later on and asked if I ever had second thoughts about leaving Anglicanism.

I told him that I was positive I was doing the right thing from a religious standpoint. But I must say that it's a question that I've always had a difficult time articulating an answer for because there are several considerations at work.

For one thing, I really enjoy the liturgy of the ACNA parish I attended for most of 2013. It felt sober and reverential. It was a relatively broad church Anglo-Catholic parish. So we got the bells every service, the smells of incense occasionally and a very Catholic view of the Real Presence.

What I ultimately had to understand was that I would rather be an Anglo-Catholic in the Catholic Church than a papist in the Anglican Church. In spite of my new (and recent) fondness for the Traditional Latin Mass, it must be said that a lot of that comes from my distaste for the Novus Ordo... and that comes from my affection for the Rite I Anglican liturgy, with its beauty and eloquence.

Had I gone straight from Southern Baptist Church #2 straight to a Novus Ordo Catholic parish, I might not care as much about the specifics of liturgy. But that year in the ACNA parish said that liturgy is good; eloquent and beautiful liturgy is better.

But that isn't what happened, now is it? I did spend that year in the ACNA parish, I was exposed to a lot of Anglo-Catholic theology and language does matter to me.

That's what attracts me to Anglicanism on the superficial level. But it's also the same thing that repulses me about it on the spiritual level. Anglicanism isn't just from England; it is of England. You cannot separate Anglicanism from some sense of British nationalism.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have no problem with people from other countries being patriotic. Or even nationalistic, for that matter. Go right ahead.

Where I have to draw the line though is comingling national sovereignty with religious expression. It's well and good to be proud of your country. But the fact is that Anglicanism classically is the mix of Englishness on the one hand and Christianity in the other hand combined in the center in prayer. So closely associating my faith with my earthly citizenship just doesn't seem like a good idea to me.

But come to that, Anglicanism is defined by England every bit as much as Lutheranism is by Germany, Presbyterianism is by Scotland and the SBC is by America. None of these are truly universal in the way the Church is intended to be. The Church is supposed to be one, holy, catholic and apostolic. Anglicanism at large fails the "one" part with its myriad splinter groups. The decidedly English flavor trips up the "catholic" attributes of the Church. It's fidelity to the "apostolic" element is debated to this day by people a lot smarter than me. And surely you don't need me to tell you how far out of whack several components of Anglicanism are when it comes to the "holy" part of the equation.

The Catholic Church has none of those problems. Pope Francis is the vicar of Christ and is the leader around whom the rest of the Church can unite. The Church suffers slings and arrows specifically because of her holiness. It is catholic in that all people in all places feel at home in the Church; so much so that there's probably a Mass going at all times somewhere in the World. And Pope Francis is the latest in a succession of bishops who can be traced in an unbroken line all the way back to St. Peter.

She is therefore one, holy, catholic and apostolic church.

So whatever affection I may have for aspects or elements of Anglicanism to this day, no, I don't have second thoughts about my decision to come home to the Mother Church.

My Catholic Year- The Traditional Latin Mass, The Ancient Way

How about a REAL update on My Catholic Year?

I said in my last post that I'm not terribly interested in bickering over liturgy. What I'm convinced of is that evangelical liturgy (and yes, they DO have a liturgy; their refusal to put it in writing doesn't change the facts) is weak sauce and often hypocritical. Beyond that, your liturgy of preference is between you and your God.

That having been said, I went to the Traditional Latin Mass this morning at that FSSP parish this morning and HOLY CRAP!!!

When I was slumming it with the Anglicans, I REALLY enjoyed the High Church services they did. It wasn't as High as it might've been but I figured it was still pretty good. But if you've ever been to the TLM before, you know that it blows the doors off the Anglican liturgy, duct tapes them back on and blows the doors off again.

Anglicanism ruined me for evangelical Christian worship. The Traditional Latin Mass has ruined me for every other liturgy. THIS is what I want from my worship. It all feels so ancient and reverential and, most of all, AUTHENTIC.

With all due respect to Pope Paul VI, I have no idea how or why the Church could ever go from the TLM to the Novus Ordo. Having now been to both, I can understand why people are so partisan about it these days. I don't think it's worth the grief and bloodletting it's caused over the years, you understand; I'm just saying I understand why people can get so fired about it.

From the standpoint of communion, part of why the TLM works for me is because it's primarily in a dead language. Yes, the homily and related matters are in whatever language they're in. But by and large, the Mass is in Latin. Apart from the mystery aspect of it, there is (or would be) solidarity in knowing that basically all of us are having basically the exact same Mass in basically the exact same way. It'd be as mysterious to me as it is everywhere else in the world.

Obviously that isn't how things are right now. I'm just saying it'd be nice.

I've never questioned my decision to join the Church. But at the same time, I've also never been more positive of where I'm supposed to be.

Apart from that, I made plans with Father Charles to meet later this week. My work schedule has changed so I probably won't be able to make it to Mass on Sunday for a long while (which I'm not happy about, especially now, but it's the hand I've been dealt) but he said he's willing to meet with me one-on-one and go through the Catechism with me so that I can pick up basically where I left off in RCIA.

Besides all that, I have every Thursday and Friday off from work now so I can still go to Mass on those days. Being as Father Charles is hopefully going to be my mentor through this whole process, I'm thinking my lack of attendance on Sunday won't be a major problem for him. My guess is that it'll be a fairly Low Mass on those days (although I'd love to be wrong!).

Just heard a major rumble of thunder outside so I guess I'd better call it a night.

Another Thing About Liturgy

By the by, feels like I should mention that I'm not militantly opposed to the Novus Ordo Mass. You might get that impression, especially judging from my last post. But it's simply not true.

What is true though is that I've talked at length about liturgy. And the reason for that is because I've been working through how lied to and betrayed I feel by my evangelical upbringing. In that world, they have a "liturgy" of sorts but they refuse to put it in writing. So there is a sense of ritual about evangelical worship. But at the same time, there's a strange, neurotic compulsion to deny that a liturgy exists.

On top of that, style takes a backseat to substance. It doesn't matter how or when you worship. What matters is that, by golly, your HEART is in it.

And honestly, I wouldn't have a problem with that line of thinking if it had any basis in fact. But it just doesn't. The early Church clearly believed that liturgy matters. Yes, your heart's conviction is important. It's not to be underestimated. But if the Lord has appointed a manner He finds acceptable to be worshiped, isn't it dangerously stupid to worship Him in any other way?

Also, evangelicals have this aggravating tendency to create a false dichotomy between liturgy and meaningful worship. When it comes to the Almighty, I've always had a reverential sense of soberness. He isn't my co-pilot, my best drinking buddy, my n***a or any of that stupidity. He's the sovereign God Almighty and there is none like Him.

Because of that, I was morally offended at times by how chummy a lot of evangelicals tend to be with Him. And whatever, He'll judge or not judge that for Himself. But this is a crucial part of evangelical worship and it took being painfully separated from all that for me to realize just how repugnant I find most of that stuff.

But anyway, my point here is that a lot of my discussion about liturgy is coming from the angle of a disgruntled evangelical who's forcibly woken up and smelled the coffee. Liturgy is a big subject for me because it's only been pretty recently that I've developed an awareness of and appreciation for it.

But among Catholics, it can be a contentious subject. This is illicit and that is not. I refuse to get involved with that. At least for right now. When I criticized the Novus Ordo, I did so on the basis that I don't think the sixth grade-level English of that Mass stacks up against the best of what the Anglicans have to offer. But I'm certainly not criticizing that Mass insofar as legitimacy is concerned. The Anglicans may have a more eloquent liturgy but what's it worth if half (or more) of their priests aren't validly ordained?

Because I want sober, reverential worship of the Lord, the only logical place for me to go is the Latin Mass. If the Solemn Masses I've seen on YouTube are indicative of what the Latin Mass is all about, this is about as High a Mass as the Catholic Church can offer (maybe the Orthodox have a Higher service but that takes you right back to the validity of their ordination in some cases).

But if others prefer the Novus Ordo, what difference does it make to me?

My Catholic Year Update

Man, been a long time since I updated this thing. As usual, there's not been much to say so I didn't bother updating. Until recently, that is, when a few interesting things came down the pipeline. So now's not a bad time to talk about some of that stuff.

For one thing, as I've said again and again, I haven't been able to attend RCIA at the Catholic parish I've mentioned a few times because of my work schedule. But we recently did a shift bid at my office and so my schedule has changed. My Thursday nights are now free. It's my Sunday mornings that are unavailable now.

No, it's not an ideal situation since RCIA requires Thursday nights AND Sunday mornings to be free. But it changes the equation at least a little.

Another thing is that I decided to wash my hands of the Catholic parish I'd been attending. I love the Church and I submit to her authority, don't get me wrong, but it really felt like they weren't even TRYING to meet me halfway on this. They have a model and they're sticking to it no matter what.

My decision to find a different parish coincides with moving to a slightly different part of town. There are two different parishes nearby. One is part of the FSSP. The FSSP's big claim to fame is their preference for the Latin Mass. I've written about the Latin Mass before but I've never really been to one before. But I really like what I know and what seen of it.

I must be honest though, there's an incredibly High Church Anglo-Catholic parish near my new apartment and it was VERY tempting to start going there. I rationalized that I really tried to join up with the REAL Church but they didn't seem interested in having me.

In the end though, that seemed like an excuse. I like Anglican liturgy more than the language and liturgy currently employed in most Catholic Masses, it's true, but that's not a good justification for turning my back on the Church. Ultimately, communion with the Church founded by Our Lord is more important than liturgy. Besides, I figured I could find an FSSP parish and try my luck with them.

So that's what I did today. I called the pastor of that FSSP parish, explained my problem and the impression I got from him is that he's surprised that this tiny problem has gotten as big as it has (and he's not alone on that either). But no matter what, he said he'd be open to meeting with me and working through the Catechism of the Catholic Church with me in lieu of a standard RCIA arrangement.

Just like that! He said that to a total stranger like me! How awesome is that? The guy couldn't pick me out of a police lineup if his life depended on it but he agreed to help anyway.

I'm still in the process of getting things sorted out in terms of moving from my old place into my new apartment so all my nice clothes aren't in my closet yet. So there's probably no way to manage going to the Latin Mass tomorrow. But I can definitely work it out next week.

There have been some hiccups along the way. This whole process turned out to be a lot bumpier than I was originally expecting. But I'm making progress here and that's ultimately what counts the most.

Liturgy

One thing I've come to realize is that I'm not quite as fond of the Catholic liturgy my parish uses as I am of the Anglican liturgy. The Anglican worship service, in my opinion, is second to none in terms of beauty and elegance. I'm told that ONLY an Eastern Orthodox ultra-High Mass is higher and more elegant than even the best of what the Anglicans do but I can't speak from firsthand experience there as I've never been interested in going to an EO service.

Still, keep in mind the Catholic Masses I've experienced so far are all in English. But I've seen Latin Mass videos on YouTube and those look amazing. So one thing I was considering was checking out the Latin Mass once I've been officially welcomed into the Church because it is available in my area. The one closest to me is FFSP. Actually, there's one closer but that one's SSPX and I don't think I want to go there.

I'll be honest though, in a perfect world there'd be an Anglican-Use parish nearby. The closest one though is WAY uptown. I've traded messages with the rector of my ex-church home, a small ACNA parish, but he (politely) made it very clear that he doesn't want to reunite with Rome even though instruments exist to facilitate that very thing. So those are all out of the question.

But I'd LOVE to attend an Anglican-Use church. Really, it's the language of the Anglican Rite that does the trick. It's King Jamesy enough for me; it's intelligent, articulate and beautiful. As much as I'm coming to love the Catholic Church, the language thereof is just pedestrian.

Don't take my word for it though. See for yourself:

Prayer of Humble Access:
We do not presume to come to this Thy Table, O merciful Lord, trusting in our own righteousness, but in Thy manifold and great mercies. We are not worthy so much as to gather up the crumbs under Thy Table. But Thou art the same Lord, whose property is always to have mercy: Grant us therefore, gracious Lord, so to eat the flesh of Thy dear Son Jesus Christ, and to drink His blood, that our sinful bodies may be made clean by His body, and our souls washed through His most precious blood, and that we may evermore dwell in Him, and He in us. Amen.

-- Book of Common Prayer, 1662

If anything, it's a reminder to us that as the Church has many things to offer the Anglicans, the Anglicans also have something to offer the Church. They bring something to the table. It's a pretty clear demonstration of how important reunification is.

But wow, I've strayed from my original point. I guess what I'm saying is that lacking an Anglican-Use alternative, I'll give the Latin Mass a shot.